Sitting on the airplane on my way back from a vacation with some of my favorite people in the world, I was overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. Instead of trying to explain to the passenger next to me that I was crying tears of happiness, I got out a notebook and wrote. No, I gushed:
I want to be happy. Being happy means respecting myself and others. I possess the greatest urge to create a “To-Do List,” but for what purpose? I know in my heart what makes me happy.
I lose sight of my happiness when I begin questioning the events I’ve suffered in my life. It might be the greatest/most difficult process but I need to learn to accept. Accept without inquiry, accept without doubts and regrets, accept without bitterness. Accept with grace, accept with hope and peace, accept with understanding.
Cherishing all I have rather than lamenting all I have lost sounds lovely to me, like a blue slush puppy on a fierce summer day by the pool. I allow myself to get overwhelmed by mourning what I’m missing out on, my faults, mistakes, and obvious shortcomings. And then I get even more frustrated when I realize I’m not appreciating all that I’ve earned. Instead of showering those that I love with attention, patience, and kindness I tend to ponder the people who have chosen not to be in my life, and count my shameful moments.
Everything in my life is love. How strange it is to write that, considering I truly, earnestly and most of all emptily believed love was not real. I felt love was as deep as blind trust, tangible as jewelry, and as authentic as Taco Bell.
I just had to figure out what love meant to me. It is one of those rare, specially customized items in life. Love is more unique than a fingerprint, yet more universal than the biggest smile you’ve ever seen.
Love is in the embrace of my friends. The sincerity of being wrapped in someone’s arms is unmatchable. No better is there a way to show someone you want them in your life than by physically holding them. No matter the brevity, it’s always comforting.
This is just a sampling of love in my life and I’m so grateful I may say that. Life is not about being broke, the victim or miserable. Celebration is key.
